Pearls

Gleaning through my experiences... here's what I've found

1) Peace for the future. I no longer feel like I'm going over a cliff into the real world of a million possibilities. There are still a million possibilities, but I know that the only important thing is to follow God's voice and will to one possibility at a time. I have confidence and assurance that He will make a clear path for that which is His will. I also have assurance that He will use all the gifts that He has planted in my life. Nothing will go to waste. I must simply, trust and obey as the old hymn goes. It's definitely not as simple as a line in a hymn, but I've made steps in walking on water.

2) I dealt with grief issues I had from the last couple years and think that I've finally made my peace.

3) I have learned that my biggest mistake is trusting too much in everyone, including myself, and excepting God . Today's reading from Oswald stated, "Disillusionment means that there are no more false judgments in life. To be undeceived by disillusionment may leave us cynical and unkindly severe in our judgments of others (that's me!), but the disilluionment which comes from God brings us to the place where we see men and women as they really are, and yet there is no cynicism, we have no stinging, bitter things to say. Many of the cruel things in life spring from the fact that we suffer from illusions. We are not true to one another as facts; we are true only to our ideas of one another. Everything is either delightful and fine, or mean and dastardly, according to our idea (that's me)... Our Lord trused no man, yet He was never suspicious or bitter. Our Lord's confidence in God and in what His grace could do for any man, was so perfect that He despaired of no one. If our trust is placed in human beings, we shall end in despairing of everyone. My mom always said that I expected too much out of people. I also expect too much out of myself. When I lash out unexpectedly at someone, do something really selfish, carelessly pass someone in need over, I am always REALLY surprised, horrified, and despairing of myself. It's like I can't believe that I was capable of hurting someone. I think we have to admit that we can hurt people and we will continue to until Jesus returns. Since a small age, I have been hurt by friends. So I think it's been my mantra never to hurt others as I have been hurt, but the reality is that we can't help hurting each other. The point is to expect to be hurt. It sounds cynical. But if we remember that we are human and fallen, we can forgive ourselves and others much more quickly. Even the best people hurt others. The problem is that we don't hear about it often enough. Heroes are created without faults. We get tricked into thinking perfect people exist. We meet people and never see their bad faults and assume that they are wonderful all the time. People sometimes think that about me. I see now that I should be glad that God doesn't let people think that for long. People end up seeing my faults a lot which is good; otherwise, I would just perpetuate the false illusion of perfection here and now. We will be made perfect (thank Jesus), but not until that GREAT day!

4) I've come to grips about my health and the need for help.

5) I've realized there's really just no lingering place for shame in this walk with Christ. If it's from sin, repent and turn away from sin. Then you have no reason to feel shame. If it comes from mistakes, learn from your mistakes, but don't feel ashamed. Do better next time. If it comes from weakness, well boast in your weaknesses. That is the way God's power is made known. Don't be let others shame you. Accept criticism and correction humbly. Don't feel ashamed because someone thinks you could do better. Be glad they want to help you. And remember that you probably can do better. We're not perfect as I believe I made clear in number 3 :) I've gotten better at accepting correction. Most people are trying to help you, and they usually speak at least a grain of truth. If they aren't, then just let it roll off because the most important thing is to be right with God. He's the one justifying you after all. It doesn't matter what others think as long as you are in line with the Bible and promptings of the Holy Spirit.

6) I've become more independent and willing to make a stand for my own decisions

7) It really is key to have long periods of time to sit and listen/converse with God. It may not make anything clearer, but it brings peace and joy which are supposed to characterize the Christian life after all :)